I Have Four Daughters and No Idea What’s Going On

Send help. Or snacks. Or a silent room.

When people find out I have four daughters, the reaction is usually somewhere between admiration and mild horror. “Oh wow,” they say, their voice a little high-pitched. “That must be… fun?”

Fun is one word. Loud, glittery, dramatic, hilarious, expensive, and a bit like running a very emotional sorority are others.

Let me walk you through a typical day in our house, a.k.a. The Pink Apocalypse.

Step 1: Wake Up and Choose Your Fighter

Each child wakes up with a new personality. One’s a fairy, one’s an angry goblin, one is sobbing because her sock feels “funny,” and the fourth is already asking me what’s for dinner — at 8:42 a.m.

The bathroom is booked solid until further notice. Someone’s making potions with MY products, and someone else is attempting to braiding a doll’s hair while refusing to brush their own.

Clothes, Hair, and the Great Sock War

There are 684 hair bobbles in the house and we can find… none. Same goes for hair brushes.

Someone wants to wear a tutu in November. Someone else is crying because they’re wearing leggings that don’t match their t-shirt perfectly. I offer help. I am told “you don’t understand.” I retreat.

Emotions? We Have Those

Four daughters = four simultaneous emotional plotlines.

One is crying over a dropped biscuit.

Another is narrating her own imaginary TV show, like something from Monster High.

One just wrote a note that says “I hate my sisters, but I love you.”

And the last one wants to talk about deep philosophical questions like “What is death?” while I’m trying to make toast.

Life in a Matriarchy

We don’t run the house — we host it. It belongs to the girls. There are spa days, fashion shows, bedroom discos, secret clubs, and the occasional full-blown courtroom drama over who has a crush on who, and why it’s not their secret to tell.

Would I Change It?

Not a chance.

Despite the chaos, the drama, and the never-ending hairbrush searches, raising four daughters is the wildest, most heart-stretching adventure I never knew I needed. They are loud. They are brilliant. They are opinionated. And they are absolutely everything to me.

Even if they do all want to talk at once.

So yes, I have four daughters. No, I’m not okay. But also, I’m kind of thriving — covered in glitter, slime and multiple body sprays at once, emotionally drained, and full of love.