Being the Alternative Mum at the School Gate

I’m the mum in the oversized band tee and snake-print fishnets. The one with stretched ears, chunky boots in summer, and eyeliner that could cut glass. I rock up to parents’ evening with pink hair. I wear all black — even to birthday parties. And no, I’m not going through a phase. This is just… me.

I’m an alternative-style mum.

And honestly? It took me a while to be okay with that.

The Looks. The Comments. The Assumptions.

You know the ones. The double-takes at the school gate. The “Oh wow, you’re brave!” comments. The sideways glances from parents who showed up in neutral knitwear and subtle makeup.

Some people assume I’m rebellious or unapproachable. Some assume I must be the “fun mum” who doesn’t discipline. Others think I’m just trying to be different. What they don’t see is that this isn’t a costume — it’s comfort. It’s confidence. It’s how I feel most like myself in a world that often tells mums to shrink and soften.

My wardrobe didn’t get erased the minute I gave birth. I didn’t become someone else — I became more me.

You Can Be Both

You can be the mum with the shaved head and the gentle parenting toolkit.

You can have piercings and still remember every school theme day.

You can wear black lipstick and still cry at school assemblies.

You can have ADHD, a dark sense of humour, and a house full of love and neurodivergent children — and still be a damn good mum.

Motherhood isn’t a mould. It’s a million different versions of love. And mine just happens to come with eyeliner and attitude.

I Dress Like This Because…

• It helps me feel in control on days when everything feels chaotic.
• It expresses my identity, especially when motherhood tries to swallow it whole.
• It gives my daughters permission to be exactly who they are — loud, different, wild, soft, emotional, unfiltered.
• It’s mine. In a world where mums are expected to blend in and behave, being alternative is my way of saying I refuse to disappear.

What My Kids See

They don’t see “alternative.” They just see Mum.

They see someone who dresses how she wants, lives unapologetically, and doesn’t flinch when the world raises its eyebrows.

And I hope that teaches them this:

You don’t have to look a certain way to be worthy. You don’t have to shrink to fit in. You don’t have to become someone else to be a good parent.

Be bold. Be soft. Be both. Be you.

Final Thoughts:

Being an alternative mum doesn’t mean I’m trying to stand out — it just means I refuse to fade away.

And if you’ve ever hesitated to wear the thing, dye your hair, or show up as your full self at soft play or parents’ evening — this is your permission slip.

You’re allowed to take up space.

You’re allowed to look like you.

And you’re still every bit the amazing, messy, brilliant, loving mum your kids need.

So wear the boots. Show up loud. And don’t apologise for making motherhood look a little more rock ’n roll.