Looking back on the nerves, the night-before chaos, and the small things that made a big difference
There was a moment — sometime in the blur of buying new shoes, labelling water bottles, and Googling “how to pack a packed lunch that won’t come back uneaten” — when it hit me: we were actually doing this. My child, who just five minutes ago was building Lego villages on the lounge carpet, was about to start high school.
And she was nervous.
So was I.
The transition from primary to secondary felt enormous. New faces, new rules, new buildings, and no hand-holding at the gate. I knew I couldn’t make it easy — but I could help her feel ready.
Looking back, here are the things that actually helped. Not Pinterest-perfect checklists or overcomplicated prep, but simple, doable stuff that made those early days feel a little less overwhelming.
👟 1. We Practised the Journey (More Than Once)
We walked the route together during the summer. We found the shortcut, the zebra crossings, and the spot where the footpath flooded in the rain. The first time, she clutched my arm the whole way. The third time, she started leading.
By the time September rolled around, the journey didn’t feel like a mystery — just part of the new routine.
🗓️ 2. We Talked About the Tiny Details
She didn’t want to talk about “how she felt” — but she did want to know:
- Where do I put my bag during lunch?
- Can I go to the toilet if I don’t know where it is?
So we focused on those. I didn’t brush them off. We googled photos of the school. We walked through “what if” scenarios. We even did a mini dress rehearsal: uniform on, bag packed, and pretending to leave for school at 8:00am.
It helped her feel prepared, not just told to “be brave.”
📝 3. We Made a ‘First Week Survival Kit’ Together
Nothing fancy — just a small pouch in her bag with:
- Lip balm
- Tissues
- Mints
- A little encouraging note I slipped in without telling her
She told me later she didn’t need most of it, but just knowing it was there helped.
📚 4. We Let Her Choose Her Stationery
It sounds small — but choosing her own pens, highlighters, and notebooks gave her a sense of control in a situation that felt pretty out of her hands. She colour-coded her folders and labelled her pencil case like her life depended on it.
It wasn’t about being “organised.” It was about feeling ready, in her own way.
🛋️ 5. We Didn’t Over-Schedule That First Week
I deliberately cleared my own calendar. I said “no” to after-school clubs. We had early dinners and low-key evenings. No interrogations — just space to talk (or not talk) and decompress.
The overwhelm showed up anyway — but without a hundred other things competing for attention, she had room to process it.
💬 6. We Normalised the Wobbles
When she came home on the first Friday and burst into tears because she’d dropped her lunch in front of a group of Year 11s, I didn’t say “It’s fine.”
I said, “That sounds like it felt awful. Do you want to vent, or distract yourself?”
She vented. Then we watched something silly. She survived.
High School Still Felt Big — But She Didn’t Feel Small
She didn’t skip through the gates like a movie montage. But she went. And she kept going. There were blips (like the time she couldn’t find her form room and wandered around with a map upside down), but there was also pride. Progress. Growth.
She found her people. She figured things out. She asked for help.
And I watched, quietly amazed, as the little girl who once needed me to open her yoghurt pot started navigating this huge new world with growing confidence.
✨ Is your child starting high school soon? Or have you been through it already?
Tell me what helped you — or what made you sob into your tea. Pop a comment below, or come find me over on Instagram — I’m always up for a chat (and solidarity).
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