Daring Daughterhood

Before I had kids, I was so sure about the kind of parent I would be. Calm, organised, always knowing where the hairbrush was. Now I have children and it turns out I was deeply delusional. Here are the things I genuinely thought I would have mastered by now. Laundry I assumed the washing basket would have a bottom. I assumed wrong. It is an infinite void that eats socks and spits out clothes that still smell weird. I am now emotionally attached to my tumble dryer. Bedtime routines I imagined peaceful stories and sweet goodnights. Instead, we have a nightly performance that includes last minute thirst, urgent life questions and the sudden realisation they love me too much to sleep alone. Meals In my head, I would serve nutritious dinners and the children would thank me. Reality involves beige food, negotiations and someone crying because a carrot touched a potato. Not stepping on toys Why do toys only exist on the floor. Why are they all sharp. Why do they hunt my feet in the dark. Scre...